Last week, I finally finished the book Being Wrong, which I highly recommend. The book focuses on the "good" vs "not so good" things about how we make mistakes (assumptions) and how transparency about talking about our mistakes actually has the opposite effect that most people think.
For instance, the author has a chapter on all the lives that are lost in hospitals, due the medical error and the "thin blue(green) line" that is evoked when any practitioner makes a mistake because of the fear of legal liability. She states that doctors and hospitals that acknowledge their mistake, and especially apologize to the patient and their family are sued 80% less than those who don't! What a novel idea! There is a beauty in transparency, as it speaks to our core values of honesty and integrity. It is amazing what a simple apology can do in terms of impact upon the person to whom the harm has been done.
She also writes about using the language of uncertainty, which in MI is "asking permission" or using what a student of mine called "wiggle room". "What, if any, ideas do you have about making this change if you decided to?" "You will know if you are ready, and that is if you decide to do it at all." "You are making a decision to not make a decision, and you know yourself best." I have found that adding the "if any" is powerful. For instance, "What are the not so good things about smoking cigarettes, if any?" "What things have you done in the past to change this behavior, if any?" That removal of certainty (expertness) opens up for collaboration and autonomy. And we just cannot assume that they have done this things, or experience "not so good" things.
This is especially true in "Looking Backwards". I cannot assume that folks have a positive experience that they can resource, and as a result, using the "if any" gives me my wiggle room. As an Ericksonian hpnotherapist, Erickson was know for his strategic use of language, making sure that we start with the hypothesis that we do not have a crystal ball and cannot make assumptions about the patient's inner world or life experiences. This is especially true with working with poor people. They live in neighborhoods where it is not safe to go out and take a walk so pressing them to do so can be offensive. They don't have money for fresh foods, and there has been a great deal of media attention on "food deserts", which are always located in disadvantaged neighborhoods. I don't think they have a Whole Foods or Traders Joe's on the West Side or the Englewood neighborhoods of Chicago. I haven't seen one so if someone knows of one, let me know. And Oak Park does not count as the west side of Chicago.
Great book, easy to read and I learned a great deal about my willingness to "f**k up" as the author so succinctly puts it. She wants it to be OK to do that, rather than hiding it and creating the constant "imposter anxiety" we all may experience either all the time or just some times.
Many thanks. Jacque
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